Consciousness is made of light, so we could suppose that on a subatomic scale, it is made up of a type of ‘spiritual photon’. These photons have no rest mass and move with tremendous speed. The essence of light is the mysterious place where light flows into itself. It is internalized light, which is the very building block of our spiritual identity. When we imagine the light of consciousness to be constituted by photons, we can understand how challenging it is for the light of me come into existence: something which is travelling so fast and is so elusive will obviously struggle to contain its own intense vibration, and as such keep failing to establish and solidify its subjectivity. The instinct of light is to create me, but to succeed it must be supported by intelligence. Unfortunately, most creatures have an exceedingly weak me, and also a very low intelligence. So it is a vicious circle: intelligence is not supporting me and me is not supporting intelligence. Humans are more developed than other beings, but their me is still very fragmented and their intelligence fails to recognize the need to serve the awakening of me.
A Scientific Theory of Consciousness
How is energy distributed in the human mind? The science of the mind is still at a very primitive stage of development. Scientists and psychologists have tried to measure brain waves and create various theories, but most of it is unconvincing. In spirituality, the transcendental meditation movement, led by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, has advocated trying to change our brain frequencies in order to reach “greater coherency” and “increase alpha waves.” Maharishi Yogi justifies these theories through a type of pseudo-science, and his talent for marketing and good oratory skills have helped him to convince a lot of people of the benefits of repeating mantras to this end.
But these theories and practices, which are devoid of wisdom, are actually dangerous. It is common among TM (transcendental meditation) practitioners to develop energetic disturbances in their head or even to create permanent damage to the brain. Naïve seekers are easy misled by the claim of something being ‘scientific.’ The practice of repeating mindless mantras has no connection to real meditation, and leads not to the realization of god-consciousness, but to a state of delusion. On the other hand, the biological, physical and chemical science of the brain developed in academic circles is too undeveloped to have anything constructive to say on the subject of meditation and consciousness, and as such to either support or dispute Maharishi Yogi’s claims.
There are also New Age theories about auras of bio-photon emanation around the body. But why would we assume that such a phenomena has any real spiritual implications? Of course we radiate energy and light; even a leaf or a tree radiates light. This is just a natural, external form of radiation and light; it is not the light of consciousness. In fact, many more primitive organisms can create bio-photons with an aid of a special bacteria which can convert their proteins into bioluminescence.
So as we have suggested, true light can be understood to be made from spiritual photons. These are not the same as physical photons, which constitute electromagnetic radiation. How do spiritual photons, the minute building blocks of the light of consciousness, come into existence? In a previous article on quantum physics, we explored the force of gravity emanating from the nucleus of an atom. Quantum physicists have posited that gravity is constituted by units called gravitons. To recap, in the physical universe, for a photon to be created, the electrons which orbit the nucleus of the atom need to reach a condition of excitation, which causes it to make a quantum leap into a lower orbit. When the electron leaps, it emits photons. So we could speculate that a spiritual photon is born during that mini explosion of light, where a photon is directed internally (in the opposite direction to ordinary photon) towards the nucleus and it merges with a graviton. Here, the photon becomes simultaneously centralized into itself through the centripetal strong force that keeps the quarks of a nucleus together. It is the meeting between gravity, light and centripetally acting strong force that results in the birth of the spiritual photon.
A spiritual photon can be regarded as a unit of spiritual light or consciousness. When enough ‘pure photons’ or spiritual photos are born, they create a type of internal radiation that evolves to give rise to a rudimentary sense of me. However, for consciousness to emerge, this must happen in the context of a biological cell, and furthermore through the further organization of these cells into brain cells.
While scientific discoveries can enlighten our understanding of consciousness, it is not through the pseudo-science of brain waves, auras, or psychic visions. Indeed, even the concept of pure photons as the units that constitute the energy field of consciousness only provides us with an imaginative but relative model to explain the inexplicable. The purpose of this investigation is purely practical. It is supposed to help us get in touch with what really occurs within our consciousness, and how its energetic dimension must evolve to match our spiritual awakening.
Consciousness evolves in small steps, and so does light. The birth of the subconscious sense of me, which is where intelligence and light meet, is just the beginning of a very long and complex journey into subjectivity. Here, subconscious me has to evolve into a clear identity where it becomes the epicenter from which we can awaken pure consciousness. Intelligence seeks to manifest a sense of me as the true existential foundation for its further evolution into consciousness and higher understanding. This evolution has many components, and one of the most crucial is the evolution of energy, the very substance and etheric representation of light.
The purpose of drawing an energetic map of consciousness is to activate a deeper sensitivity and understanding in our relationship with the energetic dimension of pure subjectivity. In order to accelerate our progress, we must embrace the various laws of energetic enfoldment and gain the requisite clarity as to how consciousness and energy are intertwined and mutually interdependent. Even though we have already drawn the map of complete consciousness, we have so far not conceptualized the intricate and subtle energetic transformations that occur in each state of awakening. Here, our intention is to address this very important component of our evolution so that each seeker can verify his progress according to this energetic map. This map is a powerful tool with which to manifest a deeper level of discrimination and inner orientation in the realm of pure subjectivity.
Real and Peripheral Energy
When we use the term ‘energy’, what are we actually speaking about? Conventionally, to have energy means to have the vigor, strength, and vitality for sustained mental and physical activity. In physics, energy is a property of matter and radiation that manifests as its capacity to perform work, such as causing things to move or heat up. But what is the meaning of the term energy in spirituality? Many spiritual terms are used indiscriminately, creating the illusion of understanding rather than pointing to anything tangible. Meditators often speak about ‘energy experiences’, feeling a ‘powerful energy’, or a ‘deep energy’, but what does this mean?
What is most often experienced as energy in meditation is the accidental fluctuation of peripheral and mental vibrations. The physical body is surrounded by and infused with various subtle bodies: mental, emotional, vital, and astral. These subtle bodies vibrate because they are made of elementary particles that are in a constant state of motion and change. But these types of vibrations do not have any spiritual value, and do not represent the higher energy body of pure subjectivity. The higher meaning of energy, then, is the spiritual ether that constitutes the vibration-body of the soul, of consciousness, and pure subjectivity. There are deeper energies that belong to the more relative aspects of our existence, and they are close to but still peripheral to our pure nature. True spiritual energy is embedded into our identity, and is composed of countless particles of light that constitute the building blocks of the pure vibration-body of our divine subjectivity.
In order to draw a precise energetic map of consciousness, we must first of all make a clear distinction between real energy and peripheral energy. For instance, when one rests vertically in pure consciousness (with eyes closed) one might, in addition to the energy state of pure subjectivity, experience other energetic phenomena such as an expansion of energy around or behind the head. These peripheral energy experiences are often harmless, but identification with them can distract us from deepening our fundamental energy state. Real energy is not the background or surroundings of pure subjectivity – it is pure subjectivity. Seekers often tend to become preoccupied with relative energy experiences in meditation: they feel various movements or expansions of energy here or there, or they lose a sense of energetic orientation and falsely assume that their energy is ‘everywhere’. Any energy experience that happens outside of our pure self is either illusory or incomplete, because they cannot be embodied.
Individual and Universal Energy States of Pure Subjectivity
Is the energy state of consciousness the same as consciousness itself? For instance, what is the difference between the energy state of pure me of consciousness, and the energy state that is activated through the horizontal or vertical surrender of pure me? This is a very important and a very profound question, and we must deeply contemplate the answer in our meditation. Pure me is indeed an energy state; it is a unity of energy and identity. However, pure me is also in relationship with the beyond, which is a distinct energy dimension. It is the deepening of the relationship between our individual energy state and the universal energy state that determines our further energetic evolution. The energy state of me, no matter how deeply it is awakened in itself, remains flawed as long as it is not unified with the universal energy state. Pure me becomes truly itself, truly pure, only in the state of absence; before that, it is an identity in-between the me of presence and the me of absence.
In addition, each center of pure me has to reach the highest level of energetic maturation in itself. This maturation is a function of meeting the essence of pure subjectivity and embodying it fully. Moreover, the energy of attention and consciousness needs to be properly distributed between all the centers of the soul. For instance, if we lack strength on the level of conscious me and fail to properly activate pure attention, pure me of consciousness will remain weak. When pure me is weak, its surrender into I am is diluted and ineffectual. For conscious me and pure me to achieve their natural energetic condition, attention has to be properly divided between these two centers, which requires the ability to embody them simultaneously. Alternatively, we have the matter of integrating and merging all the centers of pure me. When pure me of the heart reaches unity with pure me of being, its energetic dimension becomes radically transformed into deeper bliss and samadhi. The same applies to the energetic unification between pure me of consciousness and the heart.
These are just some of the many examples of how our individual subjectivity evolves, based on the awakening and integration of all of our centers and on its capacity to embrace and unify its own multidimensional identity. However, the deepest work of our energetic transformation refers to entering the universal reality and merging with the realm of absence. Each level of surrender and samadhi results in the deepening of our energy state, which involves both the transmutation of our individual subjectivity and our absorption into the energy of universal subjectivity, resulting in a higher energy state.
Energetic Dimension of the Mind
Our mind is a complex energetic system that evolves based on the evolution of cognition and the deepening of our connection to our pure nature. We can look at the energy state of the mind in two ways: as the energetic quality of thoughts, and as the mental energy field that is created by the energetic residues of thinking. Each thought has an energetic tail. Like an airplane leaving a streak of smoke behind in the sky, thoughts leave an energetic mark on our consciousness after they have gone.
Is thought in itself an energy phenomenon? Thinking is the processing of mental information, but because it is an expression of consciousness, it naturally carries the energy of consciousness. While subconscious thinking is relatively weak energetically, it can be disturbing because these energies are disorganized and chaotic. When thinking becomes more conscious, focused and orderly it can still create energetic disturbances, but of a different type: they carry too much intensity and saturate the mind with excessive information. People who live more in the subconscious reality, meaning they have a weak observer, tend to have a less intense but more chaotic mind, while those who have crystallized the observer tend to have over-concentrated energies in the head.
Many mediators naively believe that by ‘stopping the mind’ they will feel unconditionally well. However, this is not the case. In fact, it is when the mind becomes silent that we can get more in touch with its highly unpleasant energy state. When we are not in touch with our true nature, we are too insensitive to recognize how painfully we are stuck in the mental sphere of the mind. Our incessant thinking serves as a basic distraction from feeling our existence directly. To reach true peace, not only must we realize the nature of consciousness, we must also dissolve the energetic construct of our mental reality.
Unless we are connected to our true self, we are the mind, and as such, the situation is quite hopeless. A mind alone can neither heal nor transform itself. This is why no amount of therapy or psychological work can free us from suffering. That which needs to be healed is not so much the content of the mind but our unconscious identification with the mental reality. There is nothing wrong with the mind as long as it is put in the right place and experienced as a mere extension of our fundamental consciousness. But the mind that is disconnected from our true self is unwell, for such a mind is no more than a miserable prison for the human spirit.
In order to think from our pure nature, our consciousness has to be awakened. But this is not enough: it also has to be embodied through the light of me. If we have access to pure consciousness but fail to embody it, our identity is stuck in the mind, and our relationship with the mind lacks enough depth to truly transform it. People in that situation tend to cultivate detachment or extreme disidentification from the mind, which is not the right way to solve the problem. There is no such thing as a mind that is independent from me, from who we are. Hence, we need to take responsibility for our thoughts and for gaining mastery over the mind.
Depending on our awakening, consciousness beyond the mind can be actualized on several levels: conscious me, awareness, or pure consciousness. The unity of conscious me and pure me is what we call ‘fundamental consciousness’. Fundamental consciousness is the bedrock of the mind’s transformation. Reaching deeper states, such as absolute consciousness and the primordial state, will then further empower our ability to master the mind.
To think from not-thinking is the correct thinking, or at least it is the correct place from which to think. When we think from the place of embodying fundamental consciousness, there is a natural balance between arising thoughts and their dissolution. It is important to understand than any thought that is not balanced by its dissolution is bound to leave an energetic trace which eventually forms a cloud of mental energy. The fact that our consciousness is properly distributed between attending to thoughts and embodying its subjectivity brings the ultimate equilibrium in the mind. Each thought is dissolved as it arises into consciousness; even if that thought is followed by another thought, where a chain of thoughts is created, each link in that chain immediately dissolves as well. This is what J. Krishnamurti called ‘leaving no traces’, or what in Dzogchen they call the ‘self-liberation of thought’.
The transformation of the mind is even further assisted by the integration of the observer with fundamental consciousness and its further surrender and absorption (which culminates in the sealed state). The observer is the link between consciousness and active thinking; hence, its transformation is a requisite for reaching even deeper mastery over the mind. The ability to use the mind from a fully conscious and awakened perspective is what we call the ‘art of thinking’. The art of thinking reflects a condition in which all the aspects of intelligence, me, and consciousness are fully integrated and unified as one organism of pure cognition.
It is likely that even after one has awakened consciousness and established the correct relationship with thinking that the negative energies of the mental state still refuse to dissolve. This can be for several reasons: we are still subconsciously recreating these energies; our conscious me is too weak to counteract the mental sphere; or we have accumulated an excess of these energies in our past due to the misuse of the mind and a lack of real presence. A mental energy state is like a subconscious parasite that wants to keep living even though it is miserable. Often, some time is needed to undo the past and dissolve the energetic field of the mind. One has to be patient, and above all, one must keep working on empowering the light consciousness deeper and deeper.
The mental energy state can express itself in many ways, and often is linked with subconscious psychological states, such as depression, dullness, or lethargy. It can also resonate at various higher frequencies. For instance, it is common to experience excessive vibrations and fluctuations in the head, which are the result of an overactive or chaotic mind. Sometimes these mental energies are heavy, dark, and unclear, and can cause one to lose inspiration and enthusiasm in meditation and practice. It is of the essence to bring consciousness and soul to the mind, or it will keep acting as our oppressor.
The correct mind is an empty mind. It is not just empty of thought but empty of mental energies. Thinking is actually the least of our problems. And indeed, when we think from not-thinking, thinking is beautiful, and each thought is experienced as a manifestation of self-love and bliss. What does it mean to say that the mind is empty? Does it mean that there is no energy whatsoever there? It does not. It means that the energetic dimension of the mind is fully merged with our pure nature, and it becomes none other than the light of consciousness. The empty mind is free from any movement of energies to such an extent that we might assume it is a pure void or a hollow container of consciousness. However, this is not the case: the whole space is filled with the light of pure subjectivity, and the very distinction between mind and consciousness is forgotten.
Energetic State of Pure Consciousness
What is consciousness made of? Is it a space, an energy state, or an identity? It is all of those things. How do we recognize or experience the energy state of consciousness? We experience energy through feeling. Within this feeling, there is inherent an interpretation in terms of whether it is good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. When we have a headache, we do not feel good about it, no matter how patient or detached we are from the experience. The fuel of our evolution is the search for the ultimate happiness, peace, and fulfillment. To help that destiny unfold, we must have wisdom and discrimination; otherwise, we will get lost in what is unimportant.
It is common in our spiritual evolution that our interpretations are not aligned with truth, especially if we lack sensitivity, knowledge, and a sense of inner orientation. As we evolve and gain deeper access to reality, the faculty of discrimination and interpretation must not lag behind. Our interpretations of energy states need to reach the highest possible level of refinement. In that way, we can assist these states to mature into their optimal quality through correct, skillful cooperation. We need to be able to recognize the imperfection of our energy so that we can polish and deepen the state. Often, an inexperienced seeker cannot do this alone and needs to receive guidance from a competent teacher. However, as time goes by, one should strive to develop and expand one’s own interpretive faculties.
Location of Pure Consciousness
In assessing the quality of any state, we must first define its energetic location. It is common among non-dual teachings to propagate the idea that the enlightened state is ‘everywhere’. This is a deep conditioning that is directly tied to spiritual idealism and caused by a lack of orientation in the inner reality. Because we have become used to orientating ourselves in reference to the body, mind, and senses, we get confused and spaced-out when we enter the reality beyond the mind. This is why we must strive to activate spiritual orientation and discrimination, and bring wisdom to the dimension of self-realization.
When our eyes are open, pure consciousness is experienced at the depth of the headspace and slightly behind. Some adepts experience it as a vast space behind the head, what is usually referred to as ‘witnessing consciousness’. While there is nothing particularly wrong with feeling consciousness in this way, this type of realization implies a lack of precision and a lack of embodiment of the state. This is compounded by the fact that seekers tend to fail in awakening pure me, due to their misperception of the role of the personal self and a fundamentally negative relationship with their divine individuality.
Energetic State of Pure Me
Before we elaborate upon the energetic experience of pure consciousness, we should remember that it is composed of two spheres: pure me and universal consciousness. Even though pure me awakens in the context of samadhi in I am, it is possible to isolate it as a relatively separate energy state. This is especially relevant in the situation where pure me has not yet reached absence, such as in the state of awareness, or has reached only a weak level of horizontal absorption. What does the experience of pure me of consciousness feel like? We are not focusing here on the existential awakening of our pure subjectivity, but rather on its energetic representation. In truth, the correct energy state cannot be separated from who we are. There is no background to self-realization: it should be background independent.
Pure me is experienced as a type of presence that is energetically translucent but has a slight solidification or gentle concentration of energy. This solidification comes into existence only if pure me is embodied. Those who experience a type of empty awareness in the headspace do not have a sense of positive solidification in consciousness because there is nobody inside the state. We call this ‘negative emptiness’ or ‘negative impersonality’. The experience of pure me is exceedingly subtle and elusive; hence, it is difficult to capture and easy to confuse it with other experiences. On the other hand, when pure me is properly met, there is no great mystery, and the state feels fundamentally simple and natural.
Prior to arriving at the state of absence, pure me is still imperfect and its presence keeps fluctuating. This is because it is separated from I am and cannot fully rest. In fact, there is no such thing as true rest in the dimension of presence. Upon reaching absorption in I am, the energetic experience of pure me radically transforms: it becomes perfect. While prior to reaching absorption it was translucent, it is now beyond translucency, one with the real space of absence. In presence, pure me was defining itself through pure self-reference. In absence, it defines itself through disappearance. But even though it exists through its dissolution in I am, within this dissolution it awakens another presence, the presence of absence. This is the highest experience of individuality within the context of universality.
In samadhi, the experience of pure rest is added to the energetic dimension of pure me. It is important to understand that rest is an energetic realization, the byproduct of which is a sense of complete freedom from oneself. However, pure rest is not the deepest possible realization. It is superseded by a deeper absorption in I am, in which we transcend the coarse duality of the individual resting in the universal, and where we fully enter the inner void, becoming one with the light of I am. This is the state of absence. In the state of absence, pure me is unified with I am and pure consciousness is born.
Universal Energy of Pure Consciousness
In which way does the energetic experience of pure consciousness differ from the experience of pure me? First, it is of course pure me that experiences pure consciousness while simultaneously experiencing itself. Pure consciousness is a higher entity composed of pure me and I am merged into one state. To experience pure consciousness is to feel an existential and energetic unity of these two dimensions, where the presence of pure me reaches perfection by being merged in I am, and I am becomes the higher container of pure me. Pure me is still the experiencer, but it knows itself through I am, through its own absence.
Absence is not merely the antithesis of presence. It is an actual dimension of reality that we can clearly experience. However, to experience it, we must disappear. I am is an energetic dimension as much as it is a doorway for us into another realm. How do we feel I am? We feel it by dissolving into it. Within that dissolution, we feel I am through the profound change in our identity as it becomes emancipated from presence. Our most common and instinctive interpretation of what I am might be is actually just a description of how it affects our sense of self. Here, one is not really describing I am, but rather one’s own self in the context of being unified with its energy.
So, can we experience I am in itself, in separation from how it affects our own existence? We can: as our own higher universal subjectivity and as the absolute depth of our timeless self. To know I am, we must embody it. Pure me has to cross over the threshold of absence and merge with it from the other side, while illuminating it with its own emancipated presence. We can feel I am by clearly experiencing the immaculate and most refined energy of the transcendental void of universal subjectivity. It is this feeling that is translated in our being as the freedom and bliss of having returned to our original home.
When we embody I am, freedom (the release from presence) and bliss are being added to the energy state of pure consciousness. Indeed, bliss is also an energy experience. When our energy is so pure that we merge with the beyond, we experience bliss. In conclusion, these are the further energetic aspects of pure consciousness which take us beyond the experience of pure me: absence beyond translucency, absorption beyond pure rest, and freedom and bliss.
Pure Consciousness with Eyes Open and Eyes Closed
It is important to grasp the energetic difference between pure consciousness with eyes open and eyes closed. With eyes open, it is felt more towards the back of the head and behind the head, where the space behind the head is our experience of horizontal absorption. With eyes closed, the energy of consciousness does not go behind the head. Rather, pure me is experienced between the back and the middle of the headspace, settling down towards the neck. If one experiences consciousness behind the head with eyes closed, one should not pay attention to it. It is another type of peripheral energy which indicates that even though one might have reached a perfect state on the level of horizontal samadhi, consciousness is still imperfect in its relationship with the unmanifested. Here, one has to recognize that consciousness is fluctuating due to its inability to experience pure vertical rest. Based on that, one creates the intention to work towards vertical surrender and absorption. This is our preparation for arriving at absolute consciousness, which we will discuss later on.
Energetic Evolution of the Observer
The observer, in its semi-conscious form, is the sense of self experienced by most humans. It is fully identified with the mind and outer perception. Before the awakening of conscious me, the observer does not have an identity outside its thoughts and perceptions. The energetic experience of the semi-conscious observer differs from one person to the next, depending on how much they have crystallized it and what the quality of their mind is like. For instance, if a person has a weak observer but a very intense mind, this will result in the negative over-concentration of the observer. This over-concentration is also an energy experience, defined by a type of tension and unpleasant intensity. A person with a strong mind and a strong, focused observer – a thinker – will also tend to crystallize the observer. In this case, this concentration and focus is used more for the right purposes, but the result can be just as negative.
In truth, no matter what we do, the energetic experience of the observer is generally unpleasant. This also applies to those who have over-developed the observer in meditation through various practices of mindfulness. Often, such meditators damage themselves and corrupt their headspace because they are then unable to undo the crystallized observer (similarly to any chronic tension in the body). This can obstruct our ability to awaken our pure subjectivity.
On the other hand, people may have a spaced-out observer and a weak mind. Their observer is very subconscious, and as such, it is constantly lost in the mind. In this case, the energetic dimension of the observer is almost entirely absent, because it is very similar to the subconscious me, which cannot be captured as an energy point. Having said this, both subconscious me and the subconscious observer leave behind energetic residues through their activity and involvement in the mind, creating an unpleasant energy state in the head. The fact is that even though the energy dimension of the observer is not very nice, each human being needs to develop it in order to cross the threshold into pure subjectivity, or even just to be able to use the power of the mind efficiently. Fortunately, the fate of the observer is not yet sealed, and it is his destiny to reach energetic liberation as well.
For the observer to transform energetically, it has to become linked to consciousness. In fact, it must not only become linked to consciousness, but experienced from our fundamental consciousness. The first step in its transformation is based on the awakening of conscious me, where its sense of me evolves into pure subjectivity and gains the quality of bare attention. Then, the observer has to become linked to pure me and I am so that it can be experienced from pure consciousness. How does the awakening of fundamental consciousness (the unity of conscious me and pure consciousness) affect the energetic state of the observer? It becomes transparent and freed from its compulsive and constricted center, which rendered it a false, separate self. Here, each moment the observer arises, it is balanced by its dissolution in fundamental consciousness. As it integrates into our soul, the observer becomes an open window into creation, and its external attention reaches complete transparency. In this way, the observer is now experienced as energetic opening, freedom, and bliss – just like the rest of the soul.
When the ordinary observer is experienced from conscious me, it does not disappear but rather arises from the clear presence of conscious me embodied. In order to produce a conscious observer without losing its connection to pure subjectivity, conscious me has to split into two compartments: essential conscious me (where the identity of conscious me is fully embodied) and a secondary conscious me which links itself to external attention, thus becoming the transparent observer. The difference between the conscious observer and the transparent observer is that in the former conscious me is not embodied. The distinction between essential conscious me and secondary conscious me is crucial in grasping the intricacy of how essential me should correctly distribute its attention between identity and function. Secondary conscious me is fundamental to the balance of our overall intelligence. It expresses itself not only from conscious me but later on from primordial me: it is the connection between primordial me, conscious intelligence, and the world.
The final step in the transformation of the observer is arriving at the sealed state, which is the samadhi of the observer in essential me. On the lower level, the sealed state is the samadhi of the observer in conscious me, and on the higher level, in primordial me. To reach the sealed state, the observer must surrender itself directly from its own center. The first level of that surrender refers to the merging of the conscious observer (secondary conscious me) with essential me. The second level is the surrender of the subconscious observer. In the sealed state, the function of the observer is not eliminated but rather experienced from absorption in pure subjectivity.
When the observer reaches samadhi, it is transformed into the ‘pure observer’. This seals the gap of the unintegrated observer, through which consciousness leaks into the mind. By sealing our consciousness, we can reach the highest level of containment, empowerment, and light. As any other state of samadhi, the samadhi of the observer intensifies our energetic experience of bliss and has a direct impact on the deepening of our experience of essential me.
Is there a difference between the energetic state of the mind and that of the observer? They are certainly interconnected, but they represent different aspects of consciousness. The energy state of the mind represents a general field of energy in the head, which is the by-product of our relationship with thinking, and it is directly affected by the presence or absence of pure consciousness. The more deeply our overall consciousness is integrated and transformed, the more pure the energy of the mind is. On the other hand, the observer is only experienced in the front of the head. Its energetic state is a direct byproduct of the quality of external attention (whether it is intense or relaxed, conscious or spaced-out) and of the quality of its identity (whether it is a conscious or subconscious sense of me behind external attention).
Energetic State of Conscious Me
Conscious me is localized in a relatively narrow area at the front on the head. It is experienced in the middle of the forehead, around one and a half inches above the eyebrows. It occupies the same location as the observer, but exists in a deeper reality. When the observer becomes conscious of its identity, and that identity is isolated from external attention, conscious me is awakened. Initially, it is common to experience the awakened conscious me in an over-concentrated way. This is unsurprising, considering its proximity to the observer and the fact that the observer tends to mix into the experience of conscious me. It is as if conscious me has a persistent memory of being the observer (which in terms of human evolution, it has been for approximately two million years). And as such, its sense of identity remains confused, and it is constantly pulled back into the function of looking, watching, and checking, instead of just being.
Awakening of conscious me requires its positive solidification, but this has to be supported by gentleness and relaxation so that the element of verticality or being can be added. Conscious me is much more than a solidified presence: to reach its natural condition, it has to rest. So a very important element in the work with conscious me is the practice of vertical relaxation and surrender. When conscious me reaches a state of restfulness, it is experienced lower down in the frontal lobe, approximately between the eyebrows.
However, even when conscious me is experienced correctly, its presence is energetically stronger than pure me. This stronger presence, which translates as a more condensed energetic solidification, must be balanced by gentleness and relaxation so that the space of absence can begin to open. Pure me is naturally more absent than conscious me. In fact, it is more challenging to infuse pure me with the quality of presence than absence, even though reaching complete absence always represents a challenge. With conscious me, the opposite is true: it is more difficult to add the quality of absence to it, as its presence tends to be excessive. When conscious me is too present, this can translate as an energetic contraction or tension in the front of the head. This is a very common experience indeed.
Conscious me is naturally more solid than any other center of the soul. This solidity needs to be balanced out not only by its vertical surrender, but also by a wider distribution of the energy of consciousness to where the majority flows into pure consciousness. If we consciously abide in pure me, there is naturally less energy being directed into conscious me, which in itself diffuses its excessive presence.
As conscious me reaches its natural condition, it is felt energetically as a solid but open presence that not only has the quality of clarity but of rest and bliss. It is somewhat like Krishnamurti’s ‘choiceless awareness’, but it also has a clear identity and quality of self-knowing. For conscious me to deepen its energetic state and reach a higher freedom from its confinement in presence, it needs to further expand into vertical absorption through fundamental me and the primordial state.
As with pure consciousness, conscious me is experienced differently when our eyes are either open or closed. With eyes closed, it is energetically more compact and solid, and its sense of presence is more pronounced. Also, its vertical rest is more tangible. With eyes open, due to a wider distribution of the energies of consciousness, conscious me is more transparent. Of course, for that transparency to manifest, we must establish pure consciousness first, which opens our capacity to perceive from our deeper subjectivity, rooted in I am. Conscious me is then experienced as a translucent window of perception through which we view the world, while it simultaneously maintains the quality of open solidity.
Energetic State of Absolute Consciousness
The term ‘absolute consciousness’ refers to reaching vertical absence on the level of pure me of consciousness. It is a very advanced state which requires the foundation of the absolute state and the divine state. The vertical surrender of pure me of consciousness goes through many stages because one’s energy has to mature gradually. Not only must the light of pure me arrive at complete absorption in the absolute, but on a very subtle, subconscious level, it has to be freed from the entire construct and will of the mind. A common misconception is to assume that consciousness enters the absolute by moving down towards the belly. But consciousness is never meant to leave the headspace. If it does, it is lost and has dissipated its essence of pure subjectivity. When pure consciousness reaches absence, the boundary between the head and absolute becomes wide open, and there is no longer a sense of separation. The doorway to absence for pure me of consciousness is in the lower part of the head (where the head meets the neck): this is where the shift to absolute consciousness is experienced. Pure me does become energetically extended downwards, hence the state is also felt slightly below the head.
In order for pure consciousness to empower its vertical surrender, the identity of pure me needs to be clearly embodied. When we fail to embody it, even if we do experience pure me, there is a confusion as to who is surrendering and from which energetic location we must surrender. This causes consciousness and energy to become dissipated, and prevents us from progressing. Additionally, by embodying pure me, we gain the necessary strength of identity to penetrate deeper states of absorption: the stronger our identity is, the stronger our realization of absence. On very rare occasions, one can experience a spontaneous shift into absence. However, should this happen, it would be virtually impossible to stabilize and embody the new state; one needs to have clearly embodied one’s identity in order to embody the state of absence.
As we surrender vertically from pure me, our energy state begins to change and deepen. In abidance, our energy state appears to be neutral, but upon closer examination, we can recognize its inherent fluctuations; it is unable to rest. Abidance is inherently restless, but when we lack sensitivity, we fail to identify the imperfection of the energy state and falsely interpret it as neutral or natural. After we go beyond abidance and reach the condition of restfulness, our energy becomes much more settled and comfortable. Is it pure me that is resting, or is it our energetic state? They are one and the same.
While restfulness is a very positive state, it is still limited and incomplete. One cannot fully rest until one is completely absorbed in absence: this is the law of energy and consciousness. Before starting to deepen our vertical surrender, we have to recognize that our consciousness is still fluctuating. For a more evolved soul, energetic fluctuation is none other than suffering. Until our soul is in absolute rest, she lives in pain. Recognition of imperfection is as important as our evolution into perfection. If we are unable to identify the flawed and incomplete state of our existence, we are not yet ready to move into higher dimensions of self-actualization. It is like giving food to someone who is not hungry or water to someone who is not thirsty.
As we begin to deepen the state of restfulness through the art of letting go, the combination of this effortless effort and opening from the beyond (what we call ‘grace’) allows pure me of consciousness to shift into absence and transcend the inherent fluctuations of presence. This is experienced as transcendent relief, a sense of infinite freedom and bliss. This bliss bears no resemblance to the ordinary experience of pleasure: it is the experience of the purest energy, the absolute light of perfection. That perfect energy is more than a void, emptiness, or witnessing consciousness. These are impersonal realizations that bypass a true merging of individual subjectivity with the absolute reality. Bliss is the meeting of the perfect light of me with the perfect light of I am.
Energetic State of Fundamental Me
In parallel to pure me, conscious me must evolve into vertical surrender. The first level of awakening conscious me is a combination of embodying its essence of bare attention and arriving at the condition of just being, or ‘restfulness’, in the front of the head. However, as we have explained, there is still a long journey from restfulness to complete absorption. Because the identity of pure me is less solid and more absent, it experiences the absence of pure rest in a less acute way than does conscious me. In order to release the excessive presence of conscious me, it is important to evenly distribute attention between conscious me and pure me. However, this is not the complete solution. At some point, conscious me must reach freedom from presence directly through its own vertical surrender.
In the first level of the surrender of conscious me, it awakens its vertical extension: pure me of the conscious me, which we also call ‘fundamental me’. Why does conscious me need to awaken another dimension of pure me in order to surrender? Due to its excessive presence, conscious me cannot surrender directly and needs fundamental me as its link to absence. Fundamental me is similar to pure me of consciousness, but the important difference is that unlike pure me of consciousness, it can merge conscious me into itself.
How does the awakening of fundamental me happen? As conscious me reaches the condition of restfulness, it exhausts its capacity to surrender any further. However, its intention to let go activates a vertical dimension of pure attention that upon linking itself to the absolute transforms into the bare attention of fundamental me. It is important to note that in order to awaken fundamental me and reach the fundamental state (the unity of fundamental me and the absolute), we must not only have the foundation of the absolute state but absolute consciousness as well. Without having access to these states, it is possible to experience fundamental me in a valid way, but it is very limited.
What does the experience of fundamental me feel like? It feels like part of us has been emancipated from conscious me and entered the innermost space of freedom: freedom from presence. The experience of fundamental me is not really spatial. It is more like anti-space, for we lose a sense of reference to horizontality. There is a feeling of sweet absorption and complete openness in the beyond. Energetically, fundamental me is experienced beneath our physical eyes, slightly below the frontal lobe.
Energetic Dimension of the Primordial State
One of the main purposes of fundamental me is to create a bridge for conscious me to cross over into absence. In order to cross that bridge, conscious me has to merge with fundamental me. In this merging, which can take place only when our eyes are closed, fundamental me ceases to exist as a separate me. Rather, it is replaced by conscious me in its newly transfigured form: primordial me. The merging of conscious me into fundamental me is a union of two bare attentions. The union of these two bare attentions, realized in the space of the fundamental state, awakens a transcendent dimension of presence which we call ‘primordial presence’. When conscious me merges with the state of absence, fundamental me is transformed into primordial me, and the fundamental state is transformed into the primordial state. With eyes open the situation is slightly different: conscious me and fundamental me remain vertically integrated, but they are not merged – they each retain their respective centers of identity.
What does the primordial state feel like? The primordial state resembles absolute consciousness, but it has unique characteristics because it is reached through a very different channel of surrender and through a different aspect of me. In absolute consciousness, absence is deeper than presence, because even after reaching the state of unity, pure me continues to be in a relationship of never-ending surrender with the source. In the primordial state, absence is not deeper than presence: they truly become one. It is as if the presence of me has become its own center of absence. The energetic dimension of the primordial state is much more powerful than any other state, and in it, the qualities of freedom and bliss are amplified. In fact, the primordial state can be said to be beyond freedom: it is a dominion of absolute bliss. In the primordial state, everything stops and the totality of consciousness returns to its original singularity. Here, the primordial heart of the self is fully actualized as our original state beyond both individuality and universality. The identity of primordial me has a higher presence than pure me, and hence, it has greater penetrative power to dive into the beyond.
One of the important differences between absolute consciousness and the primordial state is that the energy of primordial me is no longer moving into absence. Even though pure me of absolute consciousness is unified with absence, it continues its free fall into the endless void of the beyond. But primordial me is not falling: everything has stopped. It is as if the bottom of the inner realm, its very center of gravity, has been reached.
The primordial state is experienced in a similar location to fundamental me, at the bottom of the frontal lobe. In fact, we may even experience primordial me as being slightly higher up than fundamental me was because it is not flowing down into the absolute. Fundamental me is as if stretching its presence into absence, hence one has more of a sense of energy moving down.
In the primordial state, bliss is magnified to the point of being absolute. It must be clear that primordial me is not in a relationship with universal reality. The primordial state is essentially non-dual, even though the dual dimension of primordial me (the duality between pure intelligence and the light of me) is active for as long as our holistic consciousness is active. For primordial me to be in relationship with universal reality, it must activate its extension, pure primordial me (or pure me of primordial me), the role of which is to become the vehicle of intelligence and consciousness through which primordial me can choose to travel into the inner realm of creation.
We have presented here, in a simplified form, the complex energetic journey of consciousness into self-actualization. This journey is indeed magnificent. It is hard and complex, but also simple, ruled by the clear and natural laws of evolution into perfection. It is a journey of light and intelligence into their ultimate definition of pure subjectivity, where the light of individuality merges into the light of universality. Here we have returned home, at last.
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