The subject of healing is rather controversial. Are we really healing the present or the past? People live in memories, and memories define them. But are our memories reliable? How can you differentiate between real memories and the ones that you made up? There is an interesting concept that each time you remember an event you are actually remembering how you remembered it last time, rather than the original event itself, which is very much true. This is how our brain is wired. You remember only what you have remembered.
There are several types of memory, and we refer here to the long term memory. When the actual event occurred in your past, the first time it was registered only in your short time memory, and then it was either forgotten or got stored in long term memory. Long term memory allows us to store and retrieve information from the past over an extended period of time, even for a lifetime. Short term memory is the closest to an objective experience, but as it passes into the long term memory, it becomes a subjective interpretation of the past experience.
Is your memory real?
Each time you remember, you remember what you have remembered the last time; and what you have remembered the last time is what you had remembered before that, and so on. Each time you remember what you have remembered, you change your memory through your interpretation of it, and your emotional reactions. It is no longer the same, and becomes less and less objective. And you have been doing it forever. So is your memory real or is it just a story you are telling yourself?
Anytime you remember your past, you give it emotional feedback and even more so if your memories relate the painful events in your life. And that feedback changes your memory. It is not to say that certain events did not happen in your life, but that your interpretation of them not only can be false, but it can also create a false memory. There are two kinds of false memories: memory of something that never happened, and a distorted memory of what actually happened. Imagine that you have a memory of getting hurt. The moment you think about it, you experience a wide range of emotions, such as pain, anger, feeling a victim or blaming others and possibly yourself too. All these emotions are changing the actual memory. Can you see it? And do not forget that you only remember what you have remembered the last time, and the time before, and the time before.
Of course, you can repress painful memories, as most people do, hiding them in the unconscious. And you can also positively forget them. But being on the healing path, at times it is beneficial to remember parts of your past that contribute to your emotional anguish. However, remembering is not just a passive recollection of the past events. As it was said before, you influence and shape your memories in the act of remembering them. This is why you need to be very careful with what and how you remember.
If someone hurt you before, and you meet that person again, your amygdala fires warning signals. You become fearful and defensive because the amygdala detected a threat. It is natural, but causes us to constantly interpret our present experiences through the lenses of the past. The person who hurt you could now have very positive intentions, and has changed. Maybe he did not hurt you intentionally and even cares about you, but the hurt amygdala is on guard and afraid. The amygdala is not objective and tends to be irrational. To be objective we should not allow our memories to cloud our present experience.
The past could as well not exist at all, we are just creating it by fabricating our memories. Our memories and recollections are stories we are telling ourselves. Or even if the past existed, it was no doubt very different than we remember it.
Changing our relationship with memories
In terms of healing, we need to change our relationship with memories and work on them. What we are trying to do is to change the interpretation of our memories in the amygdala. One way to do so is to actually change our memories. For instance, even if your childhood was difficult, you could remember it as pleasant and enjoyable, paying attention to the positive. Or if you experienced trauma, you could focus on remembering it as a necessary experience for your spiritual awakening. After all, anything that you have experienced in your life is a learning lesson for your soul. Seeing the positive is the key to transforming the negative memories.
However, with the case of trauma or very painful memories, changing their context can be difficult. But there is another way. Let’s say that someone deeply hurt you, abandoned you, broke your trust, or was even cruel to you. Remembering it can be a very emotional experience. You have been hurt, and now it is your memory itself that is hurting you. Don’t let your memories hurt you and sabotage your wellbeing. Here, what you can do is to remember what has occurred without any interpretation, while at the same time having happy and optimistic thoughts and emotions. What happens then is that those painful memories begin to transform and heal. You are here changing the interpretations of your memories in the amygdala. In a way, you are positively confusing your amygdala, which no longer knows if a memory was good or bad, because we remember something painful while feeling happy.
In the amygdala there are two kinds of specialised cells for storing the positive memories and negative memories. If you bring positive feelings into painful memories, you are changing the information in those cells that stored the negative memory, releasing it. Some people got healed using a similar method from PTSD. There were even such experiments done on rats that underwent fear conditioning, where the part of the amygdala that stores negative emotions was artificially stimulated while they were being cared for, and experiencing happiness. It was confirmed that their behaviour changed so that they were no longer afraid. That change is not immediate, because it takes time for the subconscious mind to reprogram, but when done right it will be a fast process.
Creative remembrance
What this is teaching us is to be creative with our memories. Remembering our past is a creative process. We should in fact be responsible for how we remember our past, because by creating the negative past through dwelling in negative memories, we create a negative present. It is possible that the past events were not negative, but our memories of them are. Certainly, you should not dwell too much in the past, but if the past is holding you, it needs at times to be addressed through your creative remembrance. What we are transforming and healing here are memories. There is nothing else there, but memories. Yes, you are healing your emotions, but they are memories too.
Beneath your conscious memory is the unconscious memory that remembers the whole of your past. When you remember something, you are just accessing some part of that unconscious memory, but it is not necessarily factual as it gets changed through your mental and emotional interpretation. Remembering is actually an interpretation of what has occurred in the past. You cannot fully know if you remember something real, or you imagine what you remember, you create it; it is both. You create your memories as much as you recollect them from your past. The unconscious memory sits at the base of your mind, and it does not care if you remember it or not. In fact, it does not want to be remembered, because the past is already gone.
There is a way to remember the unconscious memory without any specific details, in a panoramic way. The unconscious memory as a whole made you become what you are now. What you need to do is to feel what you are now, and recognize certain deep characteristics or traits of your emotional being. Do you carry depression in your mind, isolation, disappointment, fearfulness, distrust, sense of unworthiness, feeling of rejection, undefined feeling of anger, deep guilt, sense of futility, a general negative perception of yourself and life? Whatever you feel, it is part of your unconscious memory. Memory is not just in the past, it is also defining who you are in the present.
Changing unconscious memories
The question is how can you change the unconscious memories that cause you an emotional anguish? You can, in the same way as you can change any specific memory. The unconscious memory is not something that you can access with your mind, but you can feel it in yourself, at the base of who you are. And as you feel it, connect to your light, to your love, to your peace, to your wellbeing, and from that place remember the totality of your past as who you are now. In this way, you can change, you can heal, you can become happy.
If you are depressed, your depression is also a memory that you keep unconsciously recreating, and unconsciously remembering. Now, as you feel your depression, connect to the positive in yourself. Try to feel happy, or simply well in your depression, and in this way you are changing this memory and releasing it. Our power is not in the past, it is in the now. You can dwell on your emotional suffering, or you can focus on your light, on the good in you, on the positive. Especially that you are on the spiritual path, and you have access to your consciousness, to your being, to your heart, and above all to your Me. All of these represent what is good in you. Each time you choose the positive, the good in you, you change and heal your unconscious memory. Your memory created you, and now it is you who needs to reshape that memory, to create a higher memory that is in harmony with your soul.
You do not remember most of your life. Not remembering can be a good thing because it leaves room for the present. There is a reason why our memories naturally fade away. Imagine having a perfect memory of everything that happened in your life. If this was the case, you could not differentiate your memory from what is happening in the moment, because your memories would feel just as real. You could not separate what you remember from your empirical experience of the world.
The process of forgetting
Your present experience of reality is also a memory, just more immediate. Or should I say, it is a short term memory. Life is a process of forgetting. You are constantly forgetting what is happening in the present as you move into your immediate future. Forgetting the past is the very definition of living.
Do not try to force yourself to remember the past causes of your emotional issues. Yes, at times it is beneficial to confront what is bothering you from the past, and to release it. However, the best way to work with your emotions is by surrendering to them in the body. Here you naturally heal the unconscious memories without needing to remember them, without going through the mind. This is the true path of healing. The highest path, and the immediate path.
However, the idea of reshaping our memories can be seen as a complementary approach. This should not be confused with processing emotions in the mind. Yes, you use your mind here, but from your body, to confront your psychological issues. Not by analyzing them, but by feeling them while connecting to your power, which is the good in you. No matter how much darkness you experience, there is always light in you, and by choosing that light over negative emotions, you access your power and begin to transform the negative memories inside you.
What we are really trying to do here is to change the negative memories in the amygdala. Yes, by surrendering to your emotions in the body you are changing them already. But here, as we attempt to reshape our memories, we confront the conditioned emotions in the amygdala directly. We are in fact making the amygdala more conscious. It needs to be conscious, because it was unconscious just forever. The amygdala needs to know itself. Of course the consciousness of the amygdala is Me, but our Me is still having hard time to rewire the emotional conditionings of that biological or organic center of the brain in which it lives.
When you directly confront your emotional feelings generated in the amygdala, you are going to the source of your emotional existence. And you may ask yourself, why do I feel that way? Why am I depressed or unhappy, or why do I keep dwelling in the feeling of being hurt by others even though I am hurting myself so much by doing it? You may ask yourself, why cannot I be free from all that suffering? And it is because you are not in touch with your power. The power to be well, the power to choose to be well, the power to love yourself. Choosing to love yourself, which is very much your choice, you can transcend all that pain, all the anguish in which you are constantly living. You can choose for the good in you, you can choose for the original wellbeing in you to prevail.